Grief is a deeply personal experience. It can follow the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a major life change, or another experience that leaves you feeling that something important has changed.

There is no single “right” way to grieve, and healing does not happen on a fixed timeline. Giving yourself permission to experience your emotions, rather than judging or rushing them, can be an important part of moving forward.

What Is Grief?

Grief is the emotional response we experience after a significant loss. It can affect much more than our emotions. You may notice changes in your thoughts, sleep, appetite, energy, relationships or ability to concentrate.

Some days may feel manageable, while others may feel unexpectedly difficult. Certain places, dates, conversations or memories can bring emotions back even when you feel you have started to adjust.

This does not necessarily mean you are going backwards. Grief can change over time and may look different from one person to another.

There Is No Single Way to Grieve

People often hear about different stages of grief, but grief is not always a predictable sequence.

You may experience:

  • Sadness or crying
  • Anger or frustration
  • Feelings of guilt
  • Loneliness
  • Anxiety or uncertainty
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Changes in sleep or appetite
  • A sense of numbness
  • Relief mixed with sadness
  • Memories that suddenly bring strong emotions

You may experience some of these feelings, many of them, or none of them. Your experience is your own.

Give Yourself Permission to Feel

One of the most difficult parts of grief can be feeling that you need to “be strong” or return to normal quickly.

Instead, try giving yourself permission to acknowledge what you are experiencing.

You might say:

“This is difficult, and it is okay for me to take time.”

You don’t have to have everything figured out. Allowing yourself to talk, reflect, cry, rest or simply have a difficult day can be part of caring for yourself.

Take Care of Your Basic Needs

When you are grieving, everyday tasks can sometimes feel overwhelming. Small acts of self-care can provide structure when things feel uncertain.

Try to focus on the basics:

Rest: Give your body opportunities to recover.

Nutrition: Try to maintain regular meals and hydration.

Movement: Gentle walks or other comfortable activities can help you maintain a routine.

Connection: Spend time with people who make you feel safe and supported.

Routine: Keeping a few familiar parts of your day can provide a sense of stability.

You don’t need to do everything perfectly. Small steps matter.

Don’t Compare Your Grief With Someone Else’s

Two people can experience the same loss and respond very differently.

One person may want to talk about what happened. Another may need quiet. Someone may return to work quickly, while another person needs more time before feeling ready.

Try not to measure your healing against someone else’s timeline.

Your grief does not need to look like anyone else’s.

When Talking Can Help

Sometimes grief can feel too heavy to carry alone. Talking with someone you trust can provide a place to express feelings that may be difficult to share elsewhere.

Counselling can also provide a confidential and non-judgmental space to explore grief, difficult emotions, relationships and the changes that follow a loss.

You don’t have to wait until you feel completely overwhelmed before asking for support.

Healing Doesn’t Mean Forgetting

Healing from loss does not mean forgetting the person, relationship, experience or part of your life that mattered to you.

Over time, the way you experience the loss may change. Memories may become easier to hold, while certain moments may still bring sadness.

Moving forward can mean learning how to carry the experience with you while continuing to live, connect, grow and find meaning.

When You May Want Additional Support

Consider reaching out for professional support if grief is making it increasingly difficult to manage your everyday life, relationships or responsibilities, or if you feel you are struggling to cope on your own.

A counsellor can help you explore what you are experiencing in a safe, supportive environment and work with you at your own pace.

If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide or feel that you may be in immediate danger, seek urgent help through your local emergency or crisis services rather than waiting for a counselling appointment.

You Don’t Have to Go Through It Alone

Grief can be painful, confusing and unpredictable. There is no deadline for healing, and asking for support is not a sign of weakness.

Give yourself patience. Give yourself space. And when you need support, allow yourself to reach out.

You don’t have to navigate everything alone.

Counselling With MI

At Counselling With MI, Maliha Iqbal, BSW & RSW, provides client-centred, confidential and trauma-informed counselling support for individuals, couples and families in Saskatoon and surrounding communities.